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Typical Insekta
February 02, 2010In the hit TV series "Sex & The City", think the Charlotte type... slender, long straight hair, fair skinned, doe-eyed, and soft spoken. The kind of girl who can't cross the street on her own and carry her grocery bags without any help.
She wears pink or beige sweaters and pearls or any stuff from Kamiseta, Bayo and any of those "wholesome" brands. When you blurt out a green joke, she giggles and turns red as if she doesn't know what "chupa" really means or could be deeply embarrassed by your foul language. In short, they're iffy with the topic of sexuality or the sound of bad words.
She looks sweet, virginal, helpless, and naive. She's the type who drives an automatic girly looking car or probably doesn't know how to drive at all. If you pay closer attention, she's not really that dinstictively gorgeous but rather, she's just skinny, long haired and fair skinned. She could be tall or petite. Doesn't matter. As long as she has those 3 physical attributes, she's considered a "knock out".
And when you talk to her, she has nothing intellectually interesting to say... well, just maybe a few things you already know like the latest sale in Topshop or how cute Edward Cullen is. Or with her soft voice, she probably doesn't speak that much because she's supposedly shy and reserved. She's someone guys would typically like to bring home to mom. Or is she really?
Does this girl sound familiar? An old friend and I refer to her peg as TYPICAL INSEKTA... the type that Filipino guys go for. (I still don't understand why... or maybe I'm just not a dude. Hmm... NAH! Not really. For if I was, believe me I'd have better taste than that LOL!)
Ever since college, boys would tell me about this certain crush of theirs and whenever I tell them to describe, they'd start with, "Maganda siya! Maputi, mahaba buhok, slim... Cutie!" Then they pass by the hallway... TADA! Another typical insekta. Nothing really great but then again, has the damsel in distress aura. (Or should I say the distressed damsel?) They're all screaming "Tweetums!" and that's it. So what's the big eFin' huge deal?
Is helplessness the new sexy? I seriously don't get it. Especially now that gender roles are upgrading faster over time and Charles Darwin's survival of the fittest is coming at handy... is it really necessary to be (or pretend to be!) the "helpless and fragile" little princess to attract a man? Where are the credits for being strong, independent and self-sufficient women? Isn't it more of a turn on to know that a woman can stand on her own and be real about it?
So that when a man comes around, the relationship will be made up of 2 whole individuals... not a strong one who rescued the "helpless" one. I'm sure those typical insektas can do things on their own if there was no choice but they simply put on a show that they can't to live up to their fragile image. Does that mean Pinoy men prefer pretentiousness then? Even if they know that their date is no longer a virgin, they'd rather enjoy the innocent visuals than deal with reality?
As I write this, it occured to me that if typical insektas are the YIN then I'm definitely the YANG... the evil step sister. I may be on the slim side but I ain't fair since tanning is my worst vice. Long hair yes, but wild, untamed, and curly. No way in hell I'll ever be soft spoken since my loud voice gave me a career all these years. My opinionated, sometimes brutally honest punch lines gave me the distinction.
I've always been self-sufficient... living alone since college, drives a stick-shift pick up truck (and knows how to check my oils and engine!) I've back packed alone on foreign countries. I'm pretty much open about topics on sexuality and can comfortably banter with green, nasty jokes and I can definitely carry grocery bags on my own.
Bottom line, I can take care of myself. Thus, I'm every typical insektas worst nightmare... every Filipino guy's worst intimidation. (Oh yes, "intimidating"... that's some word I often hear a lot when Pinoys describe me!)
Don't get me wrong. I do appreciate a man offering to pick me up, open doors, carry my bags and all but if they're not lending a hand or are nowhere in sight, I can't just pretend to sit in one corner and cry. Apparently, Eastern men take it the wrong way... just because they see a woman capable of doing things on their own, they assume she's intimidating and goes on in the pursuit of a typical insekta... "Aw, you poor baby! Here, let me help you." Helpless? Yeah right.
It does make me wonder. Is it the patriarchal society accustomed by our culture from the Spaniards where women are suppose to be second class citizens compared to men? Is it a pride thing? Or are they simply not ballsy enough to handle a strong and independent woman?
Western men, on the other hand, see this in a different light. Thus, the Angelina Jolies are considered hotter in their eyes than the Jennifer Annistons. I'm not talking physical but rather personality and character. They see kick ass women as their equal, their match, a partner material. A typical insekta to them is like a pet they need to take care of. As my expat friend said, "I want a life partner. One dog is enough for a pet."
Which also explains why Samantha Jone's character is a big hit in the West as compared to Charlotte York's. (I bet it would be the other way around if it was localized and Samantha will be played by a sexy star like Katrina Halili and Charlotte be portrayed by Bea Alonzo or something. Jeez!) Which also made me realize why I draw Western men effortlessly and Pinoy men shy away. Sad but true.
I didn't write this to bash Eastern men, Filipinos in particular as well as to trash talk and generalize the typical insektas. I just wish strong, independent Filipinas are given due credits for being real and out there in the open just like how they treat women of the same kind in the Western culture. I just feel that we deserve a little patronization and attention from Filo guys too for being who we are. Just because we're opinionated and self-sufficient, doesn't make us less of a girl friend or a wife right? For all they know, we could actually be so good at it. They're just not giving us the chance by getting intimidated way to soon.
Due to the preference of these typical insektas in our culture, not just as girl friends and wives but even as commercial models, endorsers, TV personalities and movie stars, is also my reason why I've given up on Filipino guys a long time ago, or at least the home grown ones. I realized I will never be like a Charlotte and I never intend to be. I can if I want to, pretend and all, but I'd rather be true to myself and to the world.
I'd rather everyone knows that this is who I am so they know who they're dealing with and not discover later on that from that shy, sweet exterior, the devil lies lurking... "sa loob pala ang kulo". At least I'm doing them a favor of being real. No pop up surprises.
Better to bare the flaw and own up to it than be seemingly perfect at the expense of deceiving others. So yes. This is me... Strong, independent, real, not your typical insekta but a DAMN proud Filipina outlier. Take it or leave it.
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