No More Hoarding Of The Past Long Gone

• College memoirs such as yearbook, diploma, UAAP championship tickets, thesis, and toga pictures. Nothing beats the UAAP fever! And the nosebleed from that freakin’ thesis… Aaaah! It drove me nuts. (I can't get over it up to this day! Modern day torture!!!) I also wondered how my other batch mates are doing... those who I no longer touch base with. And I recalled my stalker tendencies at the sight of my college crush’s grad pic, how I used to secretly track his class schedule and follow him around campus.(Jeez, was I that needy for a boy?!)

• Numerous neo prints taken from various malls placed on expired discount cards or cell phone prepaid cards.“Neo Print! Say CHEESE!” CLICK! Another classic! If you’re a millennium kid, don’t tell me you didn’t fall in line for that one.

• Cool then but now considered “baduy” old school clothes and CDs. Pastel or bright colored baby tees, pedal pushers, loud signature prints, shorts with pleats, baggy low waist or flared jeans, Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, Ricky Martin, J. Lo & Ja Rule! I still dance when I hear them play on the radio! It's the peak of my party generation baby.

• Magazines I’ve appeared in from teeny ones where I looked so “nene” then eventually transforming into a so-and-so “bikini babe” like for FHM and Playboy. The transition is just extreme! The baby is now a lady… or should I say, a bomba star! Hahaha!

• Presents given by fans from stuff toys to Kurt Cobain standee to huge greeting cards and sweet letters (and some, the stalking kind) that got me so inspired during the peak of my midnight TV hosting gig. I'm grateful and owe to them my show business achievements.

• Old techie stuff like outdated mobile phones, cameras, mp3s, diskettes, cords, and other obsolete gadgets and useless junk I’ve kept thinking they could be of use one day. Turns out, they aren’t. It reminded me how ridiculously fast the technology world is advancing. Everything is becoming compact and any information is one click away when during my time I had to do research the hard way.

• Travel brochures, receipts, post cards, airline & railway tickets from all my solitary back packing in various countries. I’d do it all over again if I could. Best times of my life!

• Pictures with exes and past lovers along with souvenir items from romantic dates we’ve had. I kept them every time with the hopes of making a scrapbook someday thinking one of them could be my prince… but they turned out as frogs instead. Gone were the Jaymee Hopeless Romantic days. (Stupid unrealistic fairy tales! Grrr.)

• Tons of photographs (and negatives!) from happy childhood, awkwardly interesting schooling days, amazing travels, friendships that stayed and went, crazy night life and entertainment world, pure vanity, and everything else in between… the document of my entire 30 years of existence.

All in one day, I’ve seen it all. My whole life flashed right before my very eyes. So far, the story has been interesting. I have no right to complain.Nostalgia is indeed, a weird sensation. As I hold each memoir in my hands and recall the good feeling that comes with it, I secretly wished I could bring back all of those great memories, those simple things back then that made me so happy.

And as I feel the slight pinch in my heart from remembering all the disappointments from certain souvenirs, it backfired by making me realize how far I’ve gone. I’m no longer the teenage girl who didn’t like what she saw in the mirror or never had the courage to stand out from the crowd or cried over a boy who never called.I’ve become a lot stronger and much more equipped to handle complex situations thrown at me as I mature.

I admit though... That there are certain favorite things of mine that are so hard to let go of even if it is no longer useful. I cling on tightly to the sentimental value so bad with both hands. I was addicted to the "thought” of the joy it gave me from before. I desperately want to stay there forever, reliving the good times, since growing pains is a constant bitch. But I know that the past is long gone and that’s where it should be. Thus, it’s time to let these items go and simply keep their reminiscences close to my heart.

Life, indeed has a funny way of narrating the story of your life right back at you. Just by cleaning out my old flat, I had a preview of my autobiography... from the girl I once was to the woman I am today and how it all came about. It does suck to grow up as things get more and more complicated but that’s the only way to live and learn. There’s no other way to go about it.

It’s a new beginning once again. No more hoarding of the past long gone. It’s time to leave it all behind to make room for newer and better memories. So yes Miss Life… I’m here to keep on going. Growing pains or smooth sailing evolution… I’m ready to take on your challenge. Bring it on bitch!